超好玩的英语笑话

　　不看翻译你能看懂一篇吗，下面跟着yjbys小编来试试哦。

　　One Side of the Case 一面之辞

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。

　　“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。

　　“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。

　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”

　　唯有我是司机

　　A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus still ran at a great speed.

　　"Stop, stop, " a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, "you can't catch it ! "

　　"I must," the young fellow said, out of breath, "because I'm only driver of the bus.

　　在一辆满载乘客的`公共汽车后面，一位小个子青年在奔跑着。气车仍在高速前进。 “停下吧，”一位乘客把头伸出窗子，对小个子喊道，“你追不上的!”

　　“我必须追上，”小个子气喘吁吁地说，“我是司机!”

　　a King from a Knave

　　George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.

　　乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩图克，会不会玩纸牌。陛下，图克回答说：在玩纸牌方面，我只不过是幼儿园的水平。我甚至分不清国王和无赖。

　　婚礼上有长官在

　　A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

　　大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我……”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

　　摩西和耶稣

　　A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

　　一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机，他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说：“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去，嘀咕着：“到底是什么人在说话?”这时，他看到桌子上有些钱，他又拿了。。。那声音又来了：“耶稣正在看着你。”他躲到一个角落，想找出是谁在说话。结果看到一只鹦鹉，于是他问鹦鹉：“是你在说话吗?”鹦鹉承认了。 小贼说：“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小贼说：“什么人给鸟取这种名字?”鹦鹉回答：“就是那个给他的罗威那犬取名为‘耶稣’的那个人啊。”