有趣爆笑的英语笑话带翻译

　　三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends.”

　　"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　三位男子在公园的长椅土坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。

　　一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。

　　“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友。”

　　“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”

　　“好的，警官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂地做起划桨的动作来。

　　Now We Run 现在我们跑吧

　　A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

　　一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的`背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道：“接下来怎么办，孩子?”小男孩回答说：“接下来我们跑。”

　　Knights & Nights 黑暗时代

　　Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

　　Betty: Because they had so many knights.

　　老师：为什么有时我们称中世纪为黑暗时代呢?

　　贝蒂：因为那时有许多骑士。

　　唯物主义的律师

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

　　When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my BMW", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer.

　　"You're so worried about your stupid BMW that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!"

　　有一位律师打开他的BMW座车车门，当时刚好有一辆车子突然驶来撞上车门，而且把它完全给扯了下来。

　　当警察到达现场的时候，这名律师正在对他的昂贵BMW座车所受到的损害，痛苦地抱怨不已。他满腹牢骚的向警察嘀咕说：“警官，你瞧瞧他们对我的 BMW所干的好事啦!”

　　这名警官却回嘴说，“你们这些律师实在太唯物主义了，你真让我觉得恶心!”

　　“你竟然这么担心你一的笨BMW车子，却没注意到你的左手臂被扯断了”

　　这名律师最后注意到流着血的左肩膀，也就是他的手臂原先所在之处，他回答说：“哦，我的天哪!我的劳动士手表在哪里呀?”

　　最希望得到的签名

　　Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."

　　我们大学的校报开办了一个每周一问的专栏。上周的问题是：“你最想要什么人的签名?为什么?”和预计的一样，大部分的回答都是歌星、体育明星或者政治家。但是，最优秀的答案来自一个一年级新生，他说：“在我毕业证上签字的那个人。”