取笑老美的英语笑话

　　当我们想要去取笑老美的时候，就要用到。下次换你去取笑老美，就可以用到YJBYS小编为您整理的英语了。

　　A Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

　　“她是个卖糖果的.”

　　Nest and Hair

　　My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

　　"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

　　"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

　　"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

　　"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

　　Notes:

　　(1) inform v.告诉

　　(2) nest n.窝;巢

　　(3) description n.描述

　　(4) encourage v.鼓励

　　(5) resemble v. 相似;类似

　　Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

　　g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

　　逻辑推理

　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课.她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里.于是他开始挣扎并喊救命.他的.妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?”

　　[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外,还有“河岸”的意思.

　　Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife?你停止打你老婆了吗?

　　This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.

　　One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

　　“I want‘yes’or‘no,’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

　　“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no,’”mildly responded the witness.

　　“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

　　“Oh,” said the witness,“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”

　　这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师,他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人.

　　有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释.

　　“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’,”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论.”

　　“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答.”这位证人温和地回敬他.

　　“不存在这样的问题!”律师厉声打断他.

　　“噢,”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗?”

　　Two Birds

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　两只鸟

　　老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

　　学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.

　　老师：请说说看.

　　学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

　　"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

　　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　　鱼网

　　"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道.

　　"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了." 小女孩回答道.

　　昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles,boys?

　　体育老师：孩子们,你们见过男女混合双打吗?

　　Nick: Yes,sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.