英语经典笑话简短

　　让生活永远充满浪漫。下面由YJBYS小编为大家送上的英语笑话，让您开心娱乐。

　　我可以回家了

　　Now i can go home

　　One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”

　　我 可 以 回 家 了

　　一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能回答我的第一个问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板已被乱涂，他非常生气地问：“谁涂的? 请站起来。”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见。”

　　Cry

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　“汤姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。“他在哭。”

　　“没事儿，妈妈，”汤姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。”

　　“他已经吃完自己的了么?”

　　“是的。”“我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。”

　　除了音乐

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”

　　“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

　　我妹妹的手指头

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?

　　凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

　　老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?

　　凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

　　新西兰的`气候

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

　　马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

　　老师：错了。

　　马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

　　Good news or Bad news?

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

　　以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。

　　“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。

　　“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。

　　“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”

　　“那太棒了!”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢?”

　　店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。