精选3则短篇英语笑话
Goldfish 金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。 Fred: Where are you going to keep them? 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们? Stan: In the bathroom. 斯丹：浴室。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them! 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛! I am acting like a lady 我要表现得像一位女士 One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women. 一天，一家百货公司的`女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。 He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd. 他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。 "You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?" “你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?” "Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady." “听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。” Good Sight 好视力 Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly? Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away. 律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西? 证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。