精选3则短篇英语笑话

　　Goldfish 金鱼

　　Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

　　斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

　　Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

　　弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?

　　Stan: In the bathroom.

　　斯丹：浴室。

　　Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

　　弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

　　Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!

　　斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!

　　I am acting like a lady 我要表现得像一位女士

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百货公司的`女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”

　　Good Sight 好视力

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?

　　证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。