极品英语笑话大全 爆笑

　　从前有个妻子醋劲很大。一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：好啊，现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了! 更多尽在应届毕业生笑话网。

 

　　钓鱼：Fishing

　　Fishing

　　Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.

　　On the way home, Harry fiddled with a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $

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2,000?

　　Wow! Larry said, It's a good thing we didn't catch any more.

　　钓鱼

　　拉里和哈里驱车500英里去钓鱼。两人花了一大笔钱租了一间小屋，又花了差不多同样的钱租了一条船。两人钓了三天，只钓到一条鱼。

　　在回家的`路上，拉里开车，哈里拨弄着计算器。一小时后，哈里说：你可知道我们钓的这条鱼几乎用掉我们2000美元?

　　哇!拉里应答：幸亏我们没有多钓到鱼。

 

 

　　单簧管：Clarinet

　　Clarinet

　　When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.

　　He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, May I bring my clarinet on board? Scanning her list, she replied, Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip, and, smiling, waved him on.

 

　　单簧管

　　我在一个交响乐团演奏时，我们乐团与一家大航空公司达成协议，哪些乐器可以带上飞机，哪些乐器要作为行李托运。一个大提琴手惊愕地发现他那精致、昂贵的木质乐器竟要托运，经受行李舱内的低温以及野蛮的装缷。

　　他干净利落地解决了这个问题。他手里拿着大提琴，走到门口的空中小姐跟前，问道：我可以将我单簧管带上飞机吗?她检视了一下单子，答道，单簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。然后微笑着挥手让他进去了。

 

 

　　吃醋的妻子：A Jealous Wife

　　A Jealous Wife

　　There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night

　　and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, Great, so now you’

　　re cheating on me with a bald woman!

　　The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by

　　saying, She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!

 

　　吃醋的妻子

　　从前有个妻子醋劲很大。一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：好啊，现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了!

　　第二天晚上，她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味，于是又大叫：她不但是个秃头，而且很穷酸，连香水都不买。