英语笑话大全2014

　　大全2014　：Guestsfordinner

　　The following is a true story.

　　There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d get fat.

　　Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you‘ve been doing!"

　　英语笑话大全2014：Deliveringababy

　　A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

　　It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

　　The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

　　The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

　　"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn‘t have crawled up there in the first place!"

　　英语笑话大全2014：　TWO STORKS

　　Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don´t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She´s only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it´s father´s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he´s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork´s parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he´s been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"