令人笑喷饭的英语笑话

　　笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的.生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。

　　令人笑喷饭的一：Too much TV?????

　　A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:

　　Mother: "What does the cow say?"

　　Child: "Moo!"

　　Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

　　Child: "Meow."

　　Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

　　And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,

　　"Bud."

　　令人笑喷饭的英语笑话二：Some Things You Just Can't Explain

　　A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

　　"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.

　　"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

　　"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

　　"And then?"

　　"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

　　The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

　　"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

　　"And then?"

　　"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

　　"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said.

　　"So, what did you do?" the man asked.

　　"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."

　　令人笑喷饭的英语笑话三：Boondock Baby

　　A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

　　It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

　　The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

　　The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

　　"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"

　　令人笑喷饭的英语笑话四：Fight Competition

　　The shopkeeper was dismayed(吃惊) when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

　　He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

　　The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance.