长篇幽默英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

　　一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的`女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。想了解更多的，请跟小编来应届毕业生笑话网吧。

　　再见

　　Two tomatoes go shopping, a tomato suddenly walk fast, the second tomato asks: "where shall we go?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"

　　两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."

　　迪斯尼之旅 弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

　　当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说：“再见，美奇。”

　　女儿挥着手说，“再见，美妮。”

　　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道：“再见，美元。”

　　Goldfish 金鱼

　　Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

　　斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

　　Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

　　弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?

　　Stan: In the bathroom.

　　斯丹：浴室。

　　Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

　　弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

　　Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!

　　斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!

　　I am acting like a lady 我要表现得像一位女士

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”