简短的英语笑话课前三分钟

　　会讲笑话的人都是有幽默感的人，有幽默感的人患上抑郁症的可能性就大为减少，接下来一起来看看简短的课前三分钟，看看你的幽默指数吧!

　　简短的英语笑话课前三分钟(一)

　　Lifetime Warranty

　　终身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

　　在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的`价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

　　简短的英语笑话课前三分钟(二)

　　I Could Do It Slower

　　我可以干得慢一些

　　Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

　　病人：拔一颗牙收费多少?

　　Dentist: Fifty dollars.

　　牙医：50美元。

　　Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

　　病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?

　　Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

　　牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。

　　简短的英语笑话课前三分钟(三)

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the autoaccessories in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car onthe road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough just below it, where youcan find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."

　　一个卡车司机向一山民打听：“请问，这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?”　　山民说：“这条路上经常有人开英雄车，前面不远处是个急转弯，急转弯的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么样的汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”

　　简短的英语笑话课前三分钟(四)

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don'tyell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to sootheyour son, Albert."

　　站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。