爆笑英文短篇笑话

　　《I Don't Like an Argument》 我不想争论

　　”Gerald,“asked the teacher,”what is the shape of the earth?“

　　”It's round,“answered Gerald.

　　”How do you know it's round?“continued the teacher.

　　”All right,it's square then,he replied,I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

　　”杰拉尔德，“老师问：”地球是什么形状?“

　　”是圆形的，“杰拉尔德回答道。

　　”你怎么知道是圆的?“老师又问。

　　”好吧，那它是方的，“学生回答说：”我可不想与你争论这件事情。“

　　生难词：square adj.平方的，方形的

　　2

　　《Two Birds》 两只鸟

　　Teacher: ”Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?“

　　Student: ”I cannot point out but I know the answer.“

　　Teacher: ”Please tell us.“

　　Student: ”The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.“

　　老师：”这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?“

　　学生：”我指不出，但我知道答案。“

　　老师：”请说说看。“

　　学生：”燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。“

　　生难词：swallow n.燕子 sparrow n.麻雀

　　3

　　《Three Turtles》 三只乌龟

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one,"Go home and get the umbrella."

　　The little turtle replied,"I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　"We won't,"the other two promised.

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well, I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do, I won't go."

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　生难词：turtle n.乌龟 biggest adj.最大的'

　　smallest adj.最小的 umbrella n.雨伞

　　4

　　：三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　三位男子在公园的长椅土坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。

　　"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends”

　　“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友”

　　"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”

　　"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　“好的，瞥官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂地做起划桨的动作来。