幽默英语笑话集锦

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　　幽默英语笑话(一)

　　A Bad Impression

　　Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.

　　At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.

　　The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"

　　As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"

　　一个坏印象

　　有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静，也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。

　　最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊：“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。

　　年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊：“我把什么东西留在车上了?”

　　当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说：“一个极坏的印象!”

　　幽默英语笑话(二)

　　A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hourago, but I don't know where I am."

　　The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

　　"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

　　"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

　　"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

　　The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

　　"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

　　"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

　　一个男人在热气球上，发现自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一个妇女。他又下降了一点，大声呼喊,"打扰下，你能帮个忙吗，一个小时以前我答应了一个朋友要和他见面，但现在我不知道我身处何地。”

　　妇女在下面回答，“你在一个热气球里，大约离地面三十英尺。你在北纬40-41度之间，西经59-60度之间。”

　　“你必定是个工程设计师，”气球上的男人说。

　　“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的?”

　　“是这样，”气球上的男人说“你告诉我的事在技术上都是正确的，但是我无法理解你的看法，事实是我依旧迷失。坦白说，到目前为止你没帮上我多少。”

　　下面的妇女回应道，“你一定是在管理部门工作。”

　　“我是，”气球上的男人回答，“这你是怎么知道的?”

　　“是啊，”妇女说，“你总是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的`热气。你对别人许下的承诺，你不知道如何履行，而且你还期望在你下面的人会解决你的问题。事实就是在我们见面之前，我们都在完全相同的立场上，可现在，不知怎么地，却成了我的错了。”

　　幽默英语笑话(三)

　　孩子和妈妈

　　A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

　　一个孩子好奇的问妈妈：“妈咪，为什么你的头发有的变灰白了?”

　　The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

　　妈妈想利用这个机会好好教育教育她的孩子：“因为你啊，宝贝。每次你不听话，我就会有一根头发变灰白的。”

　　The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

　　孩子天真的回答：“现在我知道为什么外祖母头上只有灰白的头发了。”