英语笑话爆笑大全

　　　I don't think I know你看过没，下面和yjbys小编一块来看看。

　　Give up your seat to a lady 给女士让座

　　Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

　　"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.

　　"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

　　小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”

　　妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”

　　“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”

　　我当时还不缺钱

　　Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

　　"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

　　"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

　　"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

　　一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

　　"大夫!"他说，"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"

　　"天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"

　　"实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱!"

　　Where is the father?父亲在哪儿?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

　　哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

　　Son and Dad

　　Son: "Dad, you are available to you on Friday afternoon?"

　　Dad: "What ah?"

　　Son: "mini-school parents have to open the forum!"

　　Dad: "What is micro-parents forum?"

　　Son: "It's only a class, you and I participate in!"

　　儿子：“爸爸，星期五下午您有空吗?”

　　爸爸：“什么事啊?”

　　儿子：“学校要开微型家长座谈会!”

　　爸爸：“什么叫微型家长座谈会?”

　　儿子：“就是只有班主任，你和我参加!”

　　新西兰的气候

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

　　马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

　　老师：错了。

　　马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

　　Good news or Bad news?

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

　　以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。

　　“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。

　　“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。

　　“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的`，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”

　　“那太棒了!”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢?”

　　店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。

　　I don't think I know

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

　　老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。

　　约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

　　老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。

　　约翰：“我想我不知道”。