带翻译的英语逗乐笑话
You ShouldLearn to Be more polite One day, Billand Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out twosteaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. 一天，比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭。当服务员端上两份牛排时，比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块。 Tom wasn'thappy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" 汤姆对此很不开心：“你什么时候能学会礼貌?” Bill:"If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" 比尔说：“如果让你先拿，你会拿哪个?” Tom:"The smaller piece, of course." 汤姆说：“当然是小的那个。” Bill:"What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want,right?" 比尔：“那你还抱怨什么?小的那个不就是你想要的，不是吗?”Wedding Anniversary A couple goesout to dinner to celebrate their 50 wedding anniversary. 一对夫妇出去吃饭庆祝他们的五十周年结婚纪念。 On the wayhome, she notices tears in his eyes and asks if he's getting sentimentalbecause they are celerating fifty wonderful years together. 在回家的路上，她注意到他的眼里含着泪水，于是问他是否在感伤他们庆祝五十年在一起的美好时光。 He replies," No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. 他回答说：“不，我在想我们结婚前的时光。 Your fatherthreatened me with a short gun and said he would have thrown me in jail forfifty years if I didn't marry you." 你的爸爸用枪威胁我，说如果我不娶你，他会把我送进监狱蹲五十年。”
Big sale It was theday of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the localpaper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store'sopening time, in front of the store. 降价大甩卖那天，商场通知的8：30的开业时间未到，门口就排满了被打折的.传闻和当地报纸的广告吸引过来的长龙。 A small manpushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud andcolorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw,and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again. 一个小个子男人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，期间充斥着各式各样的嘈杂的咒骂。这个人又一次努力往前挤，下巴被重重地碰了几下，并被推来推去，又被挤到了最后面。 As he got up,he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me onemore time, I won't open the store!" 他第二次起来时，他对队伍最后一个人说：“得了，如果他们再这样对我，我就不去开商店门了!”
Your Horse Called A guy isreading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the backof the head with a frying pan. 一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。 He asks,"What was that for?" 他问道：“这是为什么?” She says,"I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written onit." 她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。” He says,"Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." Sheshrugs and walks away. 他说：“哎呀，亲爱的，‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。” Three dayslater he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on theback of the head again with the frying pan. 她耸了耸肩，走了。三天后他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。 He asks,"What was that for?" 他问：“这又是为什么?” She answers,"Your horse called." 她答道：“你的马打电话来了。”
Bad News and Good News An artistasked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintingscurrently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the ownerreplied. 一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。“这有好消息和坏消息，”老板回答。 "Thegood news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought allfifteen of your paintings." “好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。” "That'swonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". Withconcern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor." “真是太好了”，艺术家是喜形于色，“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，“买画的人是你的医生”。