简单的笑话大全爆笑
笑一笑十年少,有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑,可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久,你有这样的经历么?现在,一起来开心爆笑下吧!
简单的笑话大全爆笑一:A Fish Tale
A big-time negotiator was out fishing one day when he caught a strange looking fish. He reeled the fish in, unhooked it, and threw it on the ground next to him. The fish startedwrithing in agony and, to the negotiator's surprise, said, "Please throw me back into the lake and I'll grant you three wishes."
"Any three wishes, huh?" the negotiator mused as visions of expensive fast cars and beautiful women paraded through his head.
"Fish," he finally exclaimed, "Give me five wishes and I'll throw you back."
"Sorry," the fish answered while struggling for breath, "only three wishes."
The negotiator's pride was at stake and after giving the matter some thought he announced, "What do you take me for? A sucker? I'll settle for four wishes."
"Only three," the fish murmured weakly.
Fuming, the man debated the pros and cons of accepting the three wishes or continuing to bargain for that one extra wish. Finally, the negotiator decided it wasn't worth looking a gift fish in the mouth and said "All right fish, you win, three wishes."
Unfortunately, by then the fish was dead.
简单的笑话大全爆笑二:
Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.
妻子:亲爱的,你昨天晚上好像喝得很醉,在餐桌旁你不停地讲同一句话。
Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?
丈夫:真的吗?不要相信醉汉所说的任何事情。顺便问下,我说什么了啊?
Wife: I love you, dear.
妻子:我爱你,亲爱的。
简单的笑话大全爆笑三:How Many Dogs Does It Take
How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?
简单的笑话大全爆笑四:Clever Bobby
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe(长颈鹿).
"What's that, Bobby?"
"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
聪明的博比
布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说:“他只有两岁,就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来,我让你看看。”
他从书架上拿下一本自然书,把博比抱到膝上,打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。
“博比,这是什么?” “马马,”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片,博比回答说:“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片,博比说:“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片,博比说:“爸爸!”