英语幽默笑话故事

　　英语故事一：

　　Did You Know Him?At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal. "I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?" "Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."

　　英语幽默二：

　　The World's Greatest SwordsmanAt an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

　　His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

　　"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

　　"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

　　英语幽默笑话故事三：

　　A MistakeAn American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened." "Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene. "Where are the others?" asked a medic. "Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."