趣味英语笑话三则

　　半个还是十分之五 Half or Five Tenths

　　Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

　　Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

　　Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

　　Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

　　老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?

　　杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

　　老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

　　杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

　　真想做个噩梦 I want a nightmare

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”

　　“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的'梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

　　魔鬼的妹夫 I'm the Devil

　　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

　　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　　"Who are you?" he asked.

　　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　　一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

　　当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。

　　“你是谁?”丈夫问到。

　　“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

　　“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”