笑料十足的英语笑话
吝啬鬼的聚会 The Mean Mans Party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?" 一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?” “天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?” Older Goats in America美国老羊 A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!" 一群美国人乘长途汽车在荷兰旅游。他们在一个奶酪场停下来。一位年轻的导游带他们参观了奶酪制作的全过程，解释说用的是羊奶。 她指给这群人一个美丽的山坡，山坡上许多羊在吃草。对这些，她解释说，是放逐草地的老羊，它们已不能再产奶。她然后问道：“在美国你们怎样处理老羊呢?” 一位活泼的老绅士回答说：“他们让我们乘车旅行!” 让人崩溃的驾驶 A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?""No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned(醉酒的) ."The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk(行李箱) and a muffled(听不清的) voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" 一个家伙开车的.时候警察追了上来。这个家伙要开窗户问警察：“怎么了，警官?” “没事，我观察到了你的安全驾驶技术，很高兴你获得了价值5000美元的安全驾驶奖。祝贺你!你认为你要拿这笔钱去做什么?” 他想了一会说“哦，我觉得，我应该去考驾照”。 坐在副驾驶位的女士说"别在意他说的，他喝醉了酒说胡话呢.“ 后面座位的家伙说”我告诉你，偷来的车我们走不远的。“ 此时，行李箱出现了敲击声并传出一个模糊不清的声音：“我们穿过了边境了吗?”