英语小笑话精编

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?汤米：四块。老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?汤米：汉堡。

　　Two Pieces of Cake

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　两块蛋糕

　　汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?

　　妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

　　Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.

　　弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。

　　Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.

　　Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.

　　妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。

　　玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的`考试。”

　　“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。