英语笑话幽默段子

　　笑一笑，十年少，多笑笑有利于自己的身心健康，今天我们就一起来看看幽默段子吧!

　　英语笑话幽默段子(一)

　　A Duel

　　Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

　　It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

　　"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

　　"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

　　决斗

　　小彼得从操场回到家时，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。

　　显然他刚与人恶斗了一番，而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得说，我向拉里挑起决斗，而且我让他挑选武器。”

　　“嗯，”父亲说，“这看上去很公平!”

　　“我知道，但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”

　　英语笑话幽默段子(二)

　　The Tiger is Coming!

　　When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on.

　　The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

　　老虎来了

　　两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。

　　另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。

　　英语笑话幽默段子(三)

　　Friend for Dinner

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　I know all that.

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　请朋友吃饭

　　“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

　　“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的`，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

　　“这些我全都知道。”

　　“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”

　　“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”