初二英语笑话带翻译

　　初二带翻译一：

　　Perfect Match

　　A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

　　Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

　　"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."

　　绝 配

　　一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩而深感骄傲，以至于她竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色，但是谁也没有能令那位怪癖的妇女满意。

　　最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那妇女对他的'成果非常满意，油漆匠于是一举成名。

　　多年以后，他退休了，生意也交给儿子。“爸，”儿子说，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么绝的?”

　　“儿子，”父亲回答说，“我漆了花瓶。”

　　初二英语笑话带翻译二：

　　Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked them why they should be let into heaven.

　　The first doctor said,″Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work.″ St. Peter let him in.

　　The second doctor said, ″I haven't won any prizes, but I've started free clinics and helped those in need forfree.″ St. Peter let him in.

　　The third doctor said, ″I'm responsible for all the hospitals across the United States.″

　　St. Peter thought about it for a minute and said, ″OK,I'll let you in, but you will be responsible for your safety!″

　　3位医生到了天堂。圣彼得问他们，为什么他们能进入天堂。

　　第一个医生回答因为我获得过诺贝尔和平奖。圣彼得让他进了天堂。

　　第二个医生回答我没得过什么奖，但我开设过免费门诊，免费治病。圣彼得让他进了天堂。

　　第三个医生回答我负责管理美国所有的医院。

　　圣彼得思考了一分钟，说，好吧，我让你进去，但你要为自己的安全负责!

　　初二英语笑话带翻译三：

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted(放屁) at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up yoursinuses(鼻窦) , let's start working on your hearing."

　　有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”