英语笑话大全简单
爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，因为笑可以让人充满正能量，更能让自己面对挫折，勇往直前，以下笑话希望能让你爆笑每一天。
大全简单一：Only cash and credit cards
When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for
a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and
number of people.
" Do you take children?" the man asked.
"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."
只算现金和信用卡
一个人打电话给一家汽车旅馆询问房租，旅馆的工作人员回答说 房租的多少取决于房间的大小和住客的人数。
“小孩儿算不算呢?”那人问道。
“不算，先生。”服务员回答，“我们只算现金和信用卡。”
英语笑话大全简单二：出色的回答
Stunning Reply
My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?"
He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"
出色的回答
我在准备晚饭的时候，我叫年仅五岁的儿子把玩具都收拾起来。当我问他为什么没做他的差事时，他说他不想做。我感到有些恼火，就对他说：“要是我说我不想做晚饭，这时你会在哪里呢?”
他略加思索便回答说：“在饭店里?”
英语笑话大全简单三：Don't Argue with Children
不要和小孩争论
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一个小女孩和她的`老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。
她的老师说：“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那个小女孩说约拿(一位西伯来先知)就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。
她的老师非常生气，她再次告诉小女孩说：“从身体构造角度来讲，鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”
那个小女孩说：“那等我到了天堂，就去问问约拿。”
她的老师问：“那么，假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”
那个小女孩回答：“如果是那样的话，你就去问他。”
英语笑话大全简单四：My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫马上就要回来了
一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”
在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”
英语笑话大全简单五：Ten Candies
十块糖
Mother asks her son, "Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candies do you have?"
"Ten." Jim says.
"Then," Mother asks.
"Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn't it right?"
妈妈问儿子：“吉姆， 如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖?”
“10块。”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗?”