最好笑的英文笑话

　　最好笑的英文笑话一：

　　A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

　　一个高尔夫球手正要发球，跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员，喊到：“ 等一下。在您发球前，我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”

　　The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

　　高尔夫球手颇感被打搅，说道：“什么东西啊?”

　　"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

　　“是一个很特别的'高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”

　　"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?

　　“永远不会丢的球”，高尔夫球手嘲讽地说，“如果球被打到水里呢?”

　　"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

　　“没问题。它能漂起来，还能探测到哪里是岸，然后自己就能转到岸边。”

　　"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

　　“那么如果掉到树丛里呢?”

　　"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

　　“简单。它能发出嘟嘟声，这样你就能循声而至了。”

　　"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

　　“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”

　　"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

　　“球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话，你永远不会找不到这个球。”

　　The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"

　　高尔夫球手当即买下这个球，随口问了一句：“你从哪搞到它的?”

　　"I found it."

　　“是我捡到的啦!”

　　最好笑的英文笑话二：

　　It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a window seat.

　　一位女士头一回坐飞机。她登机后发现自己的座位仅靠窗子。

　　After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored him and told him to go away.

　　她坐好后，一位男士走过来坚持说她坐了他的位子。这位女士根本不听，只告诉他走开

　　"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."

　　“好吧，”男士回答道。“如果你真想这样，你来开飞机吧。”

　　最好笑的英文笑话三：

　　A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

　　我和朋友在一家快餐店排队等着点餐，看到店里贴了张通知：本店不收面值超过20元的大票。

　　The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

　　排在我们前面的一位女士指着通知感慨到：“相信我，如果我真有20元以上的大票， 我就肯定不来这吃饭了。”