雷人囧事英语笑话

　　醉汉的幽默

　　Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.

　　Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?

　　Wife: I love you, dear.

　　妻子：亲爱的，你昨晚看上去真的醉了，饭桌上老唠叨一件事。

　　丈夫：真的吗?千万别信一个醉汉说的话，对了，我都说了什么?

　　妻子：我爱你，亲爱的。

　　音乐家最重要的.生理素质

　　In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

　　"To be deaf," replied the boy.

　　"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

　　"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

　　在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩：“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”

　　“耳聋，”男孩答道。

　　“胡说!”老师气愤地说。

　　“怎么了，先生!难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗?”男孩轻蔑地反问道。

　　聪明的马

　　There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing, and his horse immediately galloped five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

　　"That's a pretty smart horse," the farmer's friend later observed.

　　"Well, he's not really so smart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"

　　一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。

　　一个朋友看到后便夸赞说：“你这匹马真是聪明!”

　　农夫说：“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”

　　饥荒可能是你造成的

　　A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby.

　　"From your looks," said the fat man, "there might have been a famine."

　　"Yes," was the reply, "and from your looks, you might have caused it."

　　在旅馆大厅里，一个非常瘦的人遇到了一个非常胖的人。

　　胖子说：“看你的样子，可能有过饥荒。”

　　“是的，”瘦子回答说，“看你的样子，饥荒可能是你造成的。”