精彩英语笑话搞笑合辑

　　生活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，欢迎欣赏精彩搞笑合辑!

　　精彩英语笑话搞笑合辑(一)

　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”

　　“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

　　“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”

　　“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

　　精彩英语笑话搞笑合辑(二)

　　I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue

　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　　"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

　　"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"

　　我刚咬了自己的舌头

　　“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。

　　“是的，亲爱的`，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”

　　“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!”

　　精彩英语笑话搞笑合辑(三)

　　When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”

　　我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”