爆笑儿童简短英语笑话

　　开心一刻，尽在。下面由YJBYS小编为您整理的开心英语笑话，供您娱乐。

　　Lose One Pound减掉一磅

　　I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"

　　我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时，体重225磅，而目前体重是224磅。我还说：“这对我这样年龄的男子来说，是不错的。”

　　一个女子听到了这些话，她说道：“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”

　　A Man of Actions

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening!”

　　一群学生聚在牛津的.校园里，一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那个家伙不收回他今早对我说的话，我今晚就离开牛津。”

　　下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说：“我们要支持他、学习他。”

　　突然，一个女孩问道：“那家伙对你说什么了，霍波?”

　　他弯下腰小声说：“哦，呃…呃…，罗斯小姐，呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”

　　If I Am a Manager

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇。

　　所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。

　　“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

　　Isn’t it wonderful?

　　"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

　　"I broke a mirror," he replied.

　　"But that means seven years of bad luck."

　　"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

　　这难道不好吗?

　　“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。

　　“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。

　　“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”

　　“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗?”

　　Whats time to a pig?

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，“时间对猪有什么意义?”

　　我和老师的故事

　　Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

　　老师：汤姆!约翰!你俩今天为什么迟到了!

　　Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

　　汤姆：老师，我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。

　　Teachear: John, what about you?

　　老师：那么你呢，约翰?

　　John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

　　约翰：老师，我不能动啊，我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。