爆笑的英文笑话

　　爆笑的英文笑话一：

　　Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.　　The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."　　Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.　　She wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."　　She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes."　　"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

　　爆笑的英文笑话二：

　　The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

　　一位刚刚做完一场有关健康讲座的心理学指导老师，正在进行一个口头测试。

　　Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

　　测试主题定为躁狂抑郁症，她问道：“你将怎样诊断这样的一个病人，他先是来回走着并大声叫喊了一分钟，然后坐在一张椅子上失控般地哭泣。”

　　A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

　　一个坐在后面的年轻人举手答道：“他是一个篮球教练?”

　　爆笑的英文笑话三：

　　Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.

　　奥兰多公车上的'声明。

　　"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."

　　“当您下车的时候，请务必低头并小心脚下。”

　　"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."

　　“如果您踩空了并撞到您的头了的时候，请您降低音量并注意您的用语。谢谢。”