英文幽默笑话及译文

　　你当真爱我吗？

　　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Do you really love me?

　　一天，夏娃问亚当：“你当真爱我吗？”

　　Adam said helplessly, "Do I have any other choice?"

　　亚当无可奈何地回答：“我还有别的选择吗？

　　：补衣服

　　To patch the hole of pants

　　补衣服

　　A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, "she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

　　一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。 ”

　　"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit．

　　“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。

　　"Yes,”said the woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."

　　”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。

　　我要射死他

　　A:What would you do if you find your husband date with another woman?

　　A：如果你发现你丈夫与别的女人约会你会怎么做?

　　B:lill open one eye and close one eye.

　　B：我会睁一只眼，闭一只眼。

　　A:How kind you are!

　　A:你太善良了！

　　B：No，I'II shoot him!

　　B：不，我要射死他

　　马打电话来了

　　A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for ?"She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with'Betty Sue'written on it.'Ha says, "Jeez,honey, 'Betty Sue'was the name of the horse I bet on.H She shrugs and walks away.

　　一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的'后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么？”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘BettY Sue’的纸条。"他说：¨哎呀，亲爱的，‘BettYSue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。口她耸了耸肩，走了。

　　Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?一she answers, "Your horse called."

　　三天后，他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：这又是为什么？“她答道：-你的马打电话来了。”

　　死于肝癌

　　Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　　妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

　　Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

　　丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

　　你精神正常吗？

　　Are you a normal person?

　　你精神正常吗？

　　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..."said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢？””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。