爆笑英语短笑话

　　笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。

　　爆笑英语短笑话篇一：Things Were Tougher Then

　　There were three prostitutes living together, a mother, daughter and grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down. "How did you get on tonight Dear?" asked her mother.

　　"Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got $20 for a blow job."

　　"Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 50 cents!"

　　"Good God!" said the Grandmother. "In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"

　　爆笑英语短笑话篇二：Pussy or Bitch

　　After playing on the playground at school, Tommy came home with some new words in his vocabulary. Puzzled at what they meant, he went to his mother. "Mom, what's a pussy?" Not at all shocked by the question, she opened up an encyclopedia and showed him a picture of a cat. He then asked "What's a bitch?" Once again, not at all disturbed, she opened the encyclopedia and showed him a picture of a female dog.

　　Confused, little Tommy then went to his father. "Dad, what's a pussy?" He felt that it was time for his son to learn about life and opened up a porno and circled the area between a womans legs. Enlightened, he then asked him, "Then what's a bitch?" His father replied, "Everything outside of the circle."

　　爆笑英语短笑话篇三：Borrow The Truck

　　A white girl came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. "Pa, kin ah borrow the truck to-nahgt?" she asked. Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', yewknow what yew haf t'do if'n yew wants to borrer th' truck." "But Pa! Ah haf t'go naow!" the white girl cried. Her daddy stood up and unzipped his pants. "Yew know perfectly well what yew haf t'do. On yer knees, bitch!" The white girl complied and started sucking her dad's cock. After a few seconds she stopped in disgust and looked up to her dad. "GeePa, yore dick shore tastes like shit!" Her dad slapped his forhead and said, "Dammit, Ah forgot! Ah already loaned the truck to yer brother just a few minutes ago!"

　　爆笑英语短笑话篇四：A Drunken Night

　　A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her.

　　He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million.

　　This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.

　　Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.

　　In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.

　　He asks the leprechaun what is going on.

　　"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."

　　"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"

　　"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."

　　"And them out there?" asks the guy,

　　"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

　　爆笑英语短笑话篇五：You May Feel A Little Prick

　　A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist"

　　The guy, surprised, says "Yes ...how did you figure that out?"

　　The girl says, "Easy ... you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."

　　The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?"

　　The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"