最新英语笑话大全爆笑

　　

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1、 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

　　"Yours?Can you prove it?"

　　"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

　　"请原谅,你占了我的位置."

　　"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

　　"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."

　　

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2、Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost

　　my precious little dog!

　　布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an

　　advertisement in the papers!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

　　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　　布朗夫人：没有用的'，我的小狗不认识字。”

　　

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3、Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

　　杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."

　　

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4、Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　　Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.

　　妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.

　　丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.