英语笑话之如何致富？
1、 Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month. 弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。
2、 Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video. I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother. But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video. How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother. Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television! 艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。 恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。 可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。 你究竟是哪儿来的'钱买这东西?妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。 妈妈，这简单， 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了!
3、"Ten steps from the porch(门廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh." So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high. He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher. He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!" But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(紧抱，扣紧) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鹃) bush planted just there. Here's $
5.00 for digging that hole."
4、 A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now? 一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
5、One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do. The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do? The little girl replied, My homework. 一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。 妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么? 小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。