逗乐的英语笑话

　　1

　　I was on Southwest flight this morning and the cabin crew were able to turn the usual, boring safety instructions into something interesting:

　　论如何把无聊的安全演示变得有意思：

　　It will really boost our ego if you PRETEND to hear the safety instructions.

　　如果各位能假装认真听我们的安全须知，我们的`自尊心会得到极大满足。

　　If you don’t like our flight, there are eight emergency exits. Feel free to walk out any time.

　　如果你不喜欢我们的航班，飞机上有八个紧急出口。慢走不送!

　　pretend [prɪˈtend] v. 假装

　　ego [ˈi:gəʊ] n. 自我，自尊心

　　If there’s an emergency water landing, please put on the vest and paddle, paddle, paddle all the way until your reach the shore.

　　如果遇到水上迫降，请穿上救生衣，然后划啊划，划啊划，划到外婆家……(好吧~其实是划到岸边…… )

　　emergency water landing我们更习惯叫ditching，这更通俗咯~

　　paddle [ˈpædl] v. 用桨划船

　　In case the cabin pressure goes down, please put on your oxygen mask first and then assist your child. If you don’t want to assist the child, it’s OK – we will not judge you.

　　如果遇到释压，请自己先戴好氧气面罩，然后再帮你的孩子戴。不过如果你不想帮那个熊孩砸戴也无所谓啦，我们不会说您什么的。

　　(这一段简直是Ashley姐姐的最爱~!!!“不!不!经理!我神马都没说!”)

　　cabin pressure [ˈpreʃə(r)] 客舱压力

　　judge [dʒʌdʒ] v. 审判，评估;批评judge sb.是个很常用的短语哟~表示评判某人。

　　2

　　I was on a Southwest flight recently, which had been delayed by about an hour. One of the pilots came on as we were getting ready for takeoff, to apologize for the delay: “We are gonna fly this thing like we stole it!”

　　最近坐西南航空的航班延误了快一个小时，正当快要起飞的时候，一位飞行员为延误而向乘客道歉，他说：“我们会把这玩意儿当做是偷来的一样玩命开的!”

　　recently [ˈri:sntli] adv. 最近，近来

　　3

　　Shortly after 9/11, when most airlines were really struggling:

　　9•11之后大多数航空公司的效益都不大好——此为背景：

　　“As we taxi out, we’d like those on the right side of the aircraft to press their faces against the window… We’d like to remind those other airlines what a full plane looks like.”

　　“在我们推出滑行的时候，请坐在客舱右边的乘客都把脸贴到窗户上。我们想让其他航空公司都感受下什么叫做满员的航班……”

　　struggle [ˈstrʌgl ] vi. 奋斗(但经常指 逆境中的)

　　4

　　On a flight from Orange County to Phoenix.

　　在一堂从橘子郡去凤凰城的航班上：

　　You might experience a fast rush during takeoff and when descending. They charge for that in Disneyland. BUT! With us – it’s free! Sit back and enjoy the ride.

　　在起飞和降落时您可能会感受到过山车一样的颠簸。这放在迪斯尼可是要收钱的。但是!在我们这里课时完全免费哦~现在请坐好，享受过山车之旅吧~

　　rush [rʌʃ] v.& n. 急速行进;冲

　　charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.& n. 充电;索(价)