搞笑的英文笑话

　　搞笑的英文笑话一：

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

　　和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。

　　Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.

　　他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。

　　When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

　　当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”

　　"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　搞笑的英文笑话二：

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

　　弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的`各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."

　　当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说："再见，美奇。"

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."

　　女儿挥着手说，"再见，美妮。"

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."

　　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道："再见，美元。"

　　搞笑的英文笑话三：

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。电话是一位非常和蔼的男人接的，他说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　当时我真的被他的话感动了，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样拒绝生意么?”

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　“事实上，这就是我们老板的主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我们让用户先自行修理打印机的话就能挣更多的钱。”