简单的英语幽默笑话

　　简单的英语一：

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg

　　ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."　　Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　简单的`英语幽默笑话二：

　　Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.　　" What's in your box?" asked the friend. 　　"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." 　　"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. 　　"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

　　简单的英语幽默笑话三：

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"