爆笑简单英语笑话

　　你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的'尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里小编为你收集整理了爆笑简单，希望能对你有所帮助哈!

　　爆笑简单英语笑话一：Doggie Funeral

　　This rich man died and left in his will that when his dog died he was to have a funeral and who ever did the funeral would get a million dollars.

　　When the dog died--the executor started asking various faiths of the cloth if they would do the funeral. All refused. Finally he asked this old country preacher if he would do the funeral. "Why Brother--I don't do dogs funerals!"

　　"OK" the executor replied, "But the one who does this funeral gets a fat one million dollars!". The preacher replied "Now wait a Minute --- you didn't tell me this dog was a Christian!"

　　爆笑简单英语笑话二：

　　On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

　　在一辆拥挤的公交车上，一名男子注意到另一名男子闭上了眼睛。

　　"What's the matter? Are you sick?"

　　“怎么了?你不舒服?”

　　"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

　　“不，我很好。只是我讨厌看到有个老妇站在身旁。”

　　爆笑简单英语笑话三：Special Pig

　　Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

　　"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

　　"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

　　"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

　　"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

　　"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

　　"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

　　爆笑简单英语笑话四：All Right

　　Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."

　　"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."

　　没关系

　　我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。“啊噢，”意识到犯了错误，我说。“我刚才拐弯是违章的。”

　　“我想那没关系的，”女儿回答说：“我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。”