英语爆笑笑话带翻译

　　会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!小编给大家收集整理了英语爆笑笑话带翻译，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!

　　篇一：英语爆笑笑话带翻译

　　开窗

　　A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

　　解决问题的好办法 一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。其中一位见窗户开着，就在落坐之前把窗户“把窗户打开，”第二位女士说道，“如果没有新鲜空气，我会被憋死的。” “不能打开，”第一位说道，“如果它开着，我会被冻死的。” 一场争吵开始，没完没了，直到那位绅士开口： “我们先让窗户关着，直到把这位女士憋死，然后再打开窗户，直到把这位女士冻死。那以后，这儿就可以恢复平静了。”

　　篇二：英语爆笑笑话带翻译

　　Meet My Mistress

　　A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

　　His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

　　"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

　　"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

　　"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

　　Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

　　"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

　　"That's his mistress," says her husband.

　　"Ours is prettier," she replies.

　　篇三：英语爆笑笑话带翻译

　　Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

　　Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

　　She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

　　But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

　　Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

　　then green again，but her car did not start.

　　“What am I going to do now?” She said.

　　But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

　　格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。

　　因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的.孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”

　　但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”

　　上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。

　　“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。

　　这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”