初中幽默英语笑话

　　总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里小编收集整理了初中幽默，让你的心情速速好起来。

　　初中幽默英语笑话(一)

　　A Lesson in Philosophy

　　哲学课一则

　　Why worry?

　　何必忧虑呢?

　　Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.

　　真的，你只有两件事要担心，你不是会生病就是身体健康。

　　If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你身体健康，那么就没什么好担心的。

　　and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.

　　如果生病的话，只要担忧两件事，你不是康复就是死亡。

　　If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你康复的话，什么也不必担心。

　　and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.

　　如果不幸死亡的'话，你只要担心两件事，你不是上天堂就是下地狱。

　　If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果上天堂，什么也不需要你担忧。

　　and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !

　　要是下地狱的话，你会忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，连担忧事情的时间都没有!

　　初中幽默英语笑话(二)

　　The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire, another was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.

　　飞机显然出了问题，一个引擎着火，另一个嘎嘎作响，不可避免地，飞机缓慢地失去高度。

　　Finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin.

　　最后，面色凝重的机长走进客舱。

　　"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced, "we've lost most of our power. The only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. We've already dumped the baggage, but it's not enough. I-m asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live, "

　　“各位女士，各位先生，”他宣布道，“我们已失去了大部分的动力，要保持飞机高度的唯一方法就是减轻我们的载重。虽然我们已经把行李丢掉，但还是不够，我要求几位自告奋勇牺牲生命以保全其他人的性命。”

　　After a few minutes of stunned silence, a Frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted "Vive la France!" and threw himself out the door.

　　一阵目瞪口呆的沉寂之后，一位法国人颤抖着站起来喊道：“法国万岁!”然后跳出机门。

　　Shortly thereafter, an Englishman rose to his full height,coolly declared, "God Save the Queen!" and followed thegallant Frenchman.

　　之后一会儿，一位英国人站了出来，他冷静地说：“上帝保佑女王!”接着和那位勇敢的法国人一样跳出门外。

　　Finally, a Texan rose from his seat, cried, "Remember the Alamo! " and threw out the Mexican sitting next to him.

　　最后，一位德州佬从座位站起来，叫道：“毋忘阿拉摩!”说着便把隔邻的墨西哥乘客扔出窗外。

　　初中幽默英语笑话(三)

　　A Remarkable Talent

　　一位了不起的天才

　　"Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.

　　“你相信我可以由钢琴知道现在几点钟吗?’一位老兄向他的朋友问道。

　　"You're kidding," replied his companion dubiously.

　　“别开玩笑了!”他的朋友怀疑地回答。

　　"I'll show you," said the first man as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.

　　“那我试给你看，”说着那位老兄就坐在钢琴前开始弹起一首进行曲。

　　Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting,

　　几秒钟后墙壁传来捶打声，一个愤怒的声音叫道：

　　"Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it,s three o’clock in the morning?"

　　“嘿!你他妈的，你知不知道现在是凌晨三点钟?”