儿童英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

　　简单爆笑的英文笑话带翻译的哦，赶快来乐乐吧。

　　He Won 他赢了

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

　　Three pastors 三个牧师

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

　　另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

　　第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.

　　"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　三人同舟

　　三位男子在公园的长椅上坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。

　　一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。

　　“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友。”

　　“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”

　　“好的，警官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂般地做起划桨的动作来。

　　这有多娇生惯养啊

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被宠坏的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

　　Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的'父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?

　　哭?约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。

　　一场特殊的足球比赛

　　Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."

　　"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.

　　"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

　　麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”

　　“为什么它会让你迟到呢?”老师问道。

　　“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。