幽默英语笑话段子

　　笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。

　　幽默段子篇一：Is He Really Ill 他真病了吗

　　On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.

　　"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.

　　"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance," yells another person.

　　"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody, and do as the kind lady says!"

　　在一个炎热的夏天，一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。

　　“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。

　　“给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。

　　“不，还是给他一些白兰地，”那位女士坚持说。

　　“还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。

　　“一杯白兰地。”

　　这时地上的'那个人坐了起来，嚷着，“都闭嘴，就照那位好心的太太说得去做!”

　　幽默英语笑话段子篇二：Talking clock

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into theden(私室，贼窝) . What is the big brass gong(锣) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?

　　Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!

　　会说话的钟

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?他的一个朋友问他。那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟，学生回答。这钟怎么工作的，他的朋友问。看着，别眨眼了，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!

　　幽默英语笑话段子篇三：Send the Bill to My Father 把账单给我父亲

　　Doctor: ″I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.″

　　Patient: ″Then send the bill to my father, please.″

　　医生：对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。

　　病人：那请你把账单给我父亲吧。

　　幽默英语笑话段子篇四：I'm the Biggest Liar 我是最大的说谎者

　　Stranger: Catch any fish?

　　Fisherman: Did I! I took forty out of this stream this morning.

　　Stranger: Know who I am? I'm the game warden.

　　Fisherman: Know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the state.

　　陌生人：钓到鱼了吗?

　　钓鱼者：我是谁?一早晨我就在这条小溪钓到了40多条鱼呢。

　　陌生人：你知道我是谁吗?我是这里的渔猎执行官。

　　钓鱼者：那你知道我是谁吗?我是全国最大的说谎者。