简单英语笑话短文带翻译

　　笑一笑十年少，有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑，可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久，你有这样的经历么?现在，一起来开心爆笑下吧!

　　简单短文带翻译(一)

　　A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, "What time do you open your shop?"

　　The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, "You needn't ask me when I open the shop for I won't let you in."

　　"Oh, no, I don't want to get in," the man said, "I want to go out now . "

　　一个店老板关闭了店铺，回家去了。他非常疲惫，但就在他刚躺下时电话铃响了。一个人问：“你什么时候打开你的店?”

　　店主很不高兴这个电话。没有回答，他放下听筒，回去睡觉。几分钟后，电话又响了，该名男子问同样的问题。店老板非常生气，他喊道：“你不用问我什么时候打开店铺，因为我不会让你……”

　　“哦，不。我不想进去，”那人说：“我想出去。”

　　简单英语笑话短文带翻译(二)

　　An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.

　　The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

　　The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

　　The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

　　Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.

　　At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."

　　一个爱尔兰人，一个墨西哥人和一个金发男子在一栋楼房的第三十层施工。

　　爱尔兰人打开饭盒说：“咸牛肉和卷心菜!下次午饭还吃咸牛肉和卷心菜，我就从这楼上跳下去。”

　　墨西哥人打开饭盒说：“又是玉米煎饼。下次如果还是玉米煎饼，我也跳下去。”

　　金发人打开饭盒说：“又是大腊肠。下次如果还是大腊肠三明治，我也跳下去。”

　　第二天，爱尔兰人打开盒饭看到咸牛肉和卷心菜便跳楼死了。墨西哥人打开饭盒看到玉米煎饼也跳了楼，金发人打开饭盒看到大腊肠也跳楼自杀了。

　　葬礼上，爱尔兰人的妻子在哭泣，她说：“如果我知道他如此讨厌咸牛肉和卷心菜，我决不会再给他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣着说：“我会给他做玉米面豆卷和春卷!我没有发现他是这么不喜欢吃玉米煎饼。”每个人都把目光转向金发男子的妻子并盯着她看。“嘿，别看我，午饭是他自个做的。”她说。

　　简单英语笑话短文带翻译(三)

　　Maxine, the platinum blonde, reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes/No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet" Yes" for heads and "No" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period，Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again.

　　麦西尼有一头银白色秀发，正在参加期末考试，试卷上的`题目只有“对”和“不对”两种答案。她在考场里坐了下来开始答卷，这时她灵机一动，从钱包里拿出了一枚两角五分的硬币，往上抛硬币，出现正面就填“对”，反面就填“不对”。只用了30分钟的时间，她就做完了，而此时别的同学还在冥思苦想。但离考试完毕还有最后几分钟时，麦西尼又开始疯狂地抛硬币。

　　The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.

　　监考官对她的所作所为很好奇，便走到她的桌旁，问她是否有问题。

　　"Oh yes, I' m fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago一but,”explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I' m going back through and checking my answers!”

　　“我还好，半小时前我就答完了，现在我想从后往前的再检查一遍。”她这样解释抛硬币的原因。