蹩脚英语笑话

　　世界各地的蹩脚，保证你会笑不停。

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　他的耳朵在我衣兜里

　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

　　“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

　　钱不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。

　　I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。

　　咒语

　　An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

　　一个男人找到一个巫婆，要求她解开一条困扰了自己40年的咒语。

　　The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

　　巫婆说："或许我可以做的到，但你必须一字不落地告诉我下咒的时候说的那句咒语。"

　　The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."

　　男人毫不犹豫的答道：“‘我现在宣布你们成为夫妇。’”

　　世界各地的蹩脚英语

　　①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

　　日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。

　　②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

　　匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。

　　③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

　　挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。

　　④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。

　　瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的'。

　　⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

　　香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。

　　⑥Drop your trousers here for best results。

　　泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。

　　⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。

　　意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。

　　⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

　　俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。

　　⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。

　　丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

　　⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。

　　墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。