开心一刻英语笑话大全

　　生活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，欢迎欣赏开心一刻大全!

　　开心一刻英语笑话大全(一)

　　A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."

　　Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don't think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I'd rather earn money to buy things for myself."

　　一个少女的母亲问她：“你长大后想干什么呀?”少女说：“我想做个老姑娘。”

　　她的.母亲听到这话感到非常惊讶。她说：“啊，亲爱的，这是为什么呀?”少女说：“我觉得我不会老是要去亲一个男人，而且每次还要说他很帅。我会感到厌倦的。我喜欢逛商店，所以我宁愿去赚钱给自己买东西。”

　　开心一刻英语笑话大全(二)

　　Witty Hare can run very fast.

　　机灵的兔子跑得很快。

　　One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window.

　　一天，它回到家的时候看见一只老鼠。这只老鼠正从它家的窗户跳下去。

　　“Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.”

　　“啊!贼!”机灵兔子喊着追过去。 “你跑不过我的!”

　　Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind.

　　不一会它追上了老鼠，还把老鼠丢在后面。

　　“I must run away,” the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”

　　“我得赶紧逃。”老鼠窃笑着说：“这家伙真笨。”

　　Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?”

　　机灵兔子继续跑着。一只绵羊看到了就问它：“你在干什么?”

　　“I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.

　　“我在追贼。”机灵兔子说。

　　“Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.

　　“贼?贼在哪里啊?”绵羊感到奇怪。

　　“He's behind me,”Witty Hare says proudly.

　　“它在我后面呢。”机灵兔子自豪地说着。

　　开心一刻英语笑话大全(三)

　　他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服务员只拿了1片，他说“I want two pieces ",服务员听成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又说“I want two pieces on my plate"，然后服务员就骂他“you're a son of bitch”(你这狗·娘·养的)。

　　他认为服务员说他是“son of a beach(海滩)”。然后他又去吃饭了，服务员只拿了勺子和刀，没有叉子(fock)。他说“I want a fock”，服务员听成了“I want to fuck”，服务员回他说“everyone want to fu·ck",他又说“I want a fock on the table",服务员听成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房间，床上没有床单，他说“I want a sheet",服务员听成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。

　　最后他来到前台，工作人员向他说了句客套话“peace on you”，他却认为在骂他“piss on you。”，骂了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”