逗趣英语笑话搞笑

　　幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的'精料，智慧之所在。今天我们就一起来看看逗趣搞笑吧!

　　逗趣英语笑话搞笑(一)

　　Apples Of The Tree Of Life

　　A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are, "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.

　　She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"

　　逗趣英语笑话搞笑(二)

　　The Perfect Son 完美的儿子

　　A: I have the perfect son.

　　B: Does he smoke?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he drink whiskey?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he ever come home late?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

　　A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

　　A：我有一个很完美的儿子。

　　B：他抽烟吗?

　　A：不抽。

　　B：他喝威士忌酒吗?

　　A：不喝。

　　B：他会不会很晚回家?

　　A：不会。

　　B：我想你确实有一个完美儿子。那他多大了?

　　A：下个星期三就满6个月了。

　　逗趣英语笑话搞笑(三)

　　What A Way To Go

　　There are two guys in a bar...one says, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!!!"

　　"Whoa, what the heck happened to him?" asks the other guy.

　　"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

　　"What a horrible way to die!" says the other guy.

　　"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

　　"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

　　"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

　　"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

　　"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

　　"Man, what a way to go!"

　　"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted -- 10,000 volts shot through him."

　　"Now that is one awful way to go!"

　　"No no, he survived that..."

　　"Hold on now, just how did he die?" asks the other guy.

　　"I shot him!" the first guy exclaims.

　　"You shot him? What the heck did you shoot him for?"

　　"The son of a gun was wrecking my house!"