超有趣的英语小笑话

　　当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑，还会觉得冷很冷，可是自己看的时候，却笑到不行，你有这样的经历么?以下的超有趣的英语，希望能让你欢乐笑不停。

　　超有趣的'英语小笑话一：A Drunken Night

　　A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her.

　　He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million.

　　This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.

　　Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.

　　In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.

　　He asks the leprechaun what is going on.

　　"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."

　　"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"

　　"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."

　　"And them out there?" asks the guy,

　　"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

　　超有趣的英语小笑话二：Martian Lovin'

　　The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

　　Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.

　　The Martian responds, "Pretty much the way you do." A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.

　　Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member-about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.

　　"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"

　　"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!" "No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

　　"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it is still narrow."

　　"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.

　　As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"

　　"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"

　　"It was horrible," he replies, "all I got was a headache. . .she kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."

　　超有趣的英语小笑话三：True Love

　　A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

　　After a while the husband said to his wife: Honey in all the years together, was there ever a time when you were unfaithful to me?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one time early in our marriage. Remember when you had lost your job and the bank was going to foreclose on the house. I made a trip to town, saw the banker and we got the loan extended until you returned to work.

　　The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved our home; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that one time. Was there ever another time?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one other time. Remember when you had gotten sick and needed an operation or you would die, but we didn’t have any insurance. I made a trip to town, saw the doctor and you got the operation..

　　The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved my life; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that time either. Was there another time?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Well there was just one other time. Remember when you were running for club president and you only needed 58 more votes………..

　　超有趣的英语小笑话四：The Woman Is On Fire

　　A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.

　　But it also lit up her arm, too!

　　Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.

　　A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.

　　When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was waving a fire-arm."