英语笑话笑 搞笑精选
考验你的英语水平的时候来了，下面的要是没有中文翻译你是否看得懂呢？
A Smart Housewife. A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主妇 一位精明的'家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
【开心一笑】写 Writing a Composition
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition -- If I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reasons.
"I am waiting for my secretary," was the boy's answer.
写作文 天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
所有学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。
前面的哥们快点，大家都等着呢 The Heaven and the Hell Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory(炼狱) , being sized up by God. Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly(可怕的，惨白的) Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before, in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go." Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?" God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly,if it will help your decision.
"Fine, but where should I go first?" "I'll leave that up to you." "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first." Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing(迷人的) as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill. Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish(痛苦) and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place,with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was a demo(演示，样本) ," replied God.