英语小笑话

英语一：

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

英语小笑话二：

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

 

英语小笑话三：

Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

进步

　　一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的.怎么样?”

　　“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”

英语小笑话四：

Making Granny Glad

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"

　　"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."

　　"Well done. Who was that?"

　　"My granny."

　　"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

　　"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

让奶奶开心

　　一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”

　　“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”

　　“做得好，是谁呢?”

　　“我奶奶。”

　　“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”

　　“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴!’”

英语小笑话五：

Half or Five Tenths

　　Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

　　Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

　　Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

　　Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

半个还是十分之五

　　老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?

　　杰拉得：我宁可要半个。

　　老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。

　　杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。