奇趣幽默英语笑话

　　笑话是以一个搞笑故事或一句话让说者或听者觉得好笑，让你不自觉地快乐。今天我们就一起来看看奇趣幽默吧!

　　奇趣幽默英语笑话(一)

　　A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."

　　Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don't think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I'd rather earn money to buy things for myself."

　　一个少女的母亲问她：“你长大后想干什么呀?”少女说：“我想做个老姑娘。”

　　她的'母亲听到这话感到非常惊讶。她说：“啊，亲爱的，这是为什么呀?”少女说：“我觉得我不会老是要去亲一个男人，而且每次还要说他很帅。我会感到厌倦的。我喜欢逛商店，所以我宁愿去赚钱给自己买东西。”

　　奇趣幽默英语笑话(二)

　　他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服务员只拿了1片，他说“I want two pieces ",服务员听成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又说“I want two pieces on my plate"，然后服务员就骂他“you're a son of bitch”(你这狗·娘·养的)。

　　他认为服务员说他是“son of a beach(海滩)”。然后他又去吃饭了，服务员只拿了勺子和刀，没有叉子(fock)。他说“I want a fock”，服务员听成了“I want to fuck”，服务员回他说“everyone want to fu·ck",他又说“I want a fock on the table",服务员听成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房间，床上没有床单，他说“I want a sheet",服务员听成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。

　　最后他来到前台，工作人员向他说了句客套话“peace on you”，他却认为在骂他“piss on you。”，骂了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”

　　奇趣幽默英语笑话(三)

　　Expiration Date

　　Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen, so I brought my birth certificate. The clerk picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. “Is something wrong?” I finally asked. “Yes,” she said. “I can’t find the expiration date.”

　　【中文译文】

　　失效日期

　　我刚大学毕业找到第一份工作。在正式开始工作以前，我必须提交我是美国公民的证明文件。于是我带去了我的出生证明。那个职员拿起我的出生证明仔仔细细地看。我问：“有什么问题吗?”她说：“是啊，我没找到失效日期。”