关于英文笑话

　　关于英文笑话一：

　　A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

　　一个年轻人在麦当劳里看见一对年迈的夫妇在吃午餐。他发现那对夫妇只点了单人餐，还要了一个空杯子。年轻人看见丈夫认真地把汉堡分成两半，把薯条一根一根数出来同样放成两堆，一份给自己，一份放在妻子面前。之后丈夫把饮料一半倒到空杯子里，同样放到妻子面前。这时丈夫开始吃了，而妻子却把手摊在膝盖上，在一旁看着。

　　The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

　　年轻人决定上前请那对夫妇允许他为他们再买一份单人餐，这样他们就不用分一份了。

　　The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

　　丈夫说道：“哦，不用了。我们已经结婚50年了，所有的东西我们都会一起分享，对半儿分。”

　　The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."

　　然后年轻人问妻子她为什么不吃，她说：“这回他先用假牙。”

　　关于英文笑话二：

　　Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

　　有三个退休的老人，都患有重听。三月里风和日丽的一天，他们在一起散步。

　　One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

　　其中一个人对另一个人说：“这天儿风有点儿大，是吧?”

　　"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

　　“不是，”第二个人回答道，“今天是星期四。”

　　And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

　　第三个人插话进来说：“我也是，去买瓶可乐吧。”

　　关于英文笑话三：

　　An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

　　布鲁克林的.一位年迈的妇女决定准备自己的遗嘱，提出最后的要求。她告诉自己的犹太教士说她有两个临终前的要求。第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布鲁明黛。

　　"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"

　　“布鲁明黛!”教士叫道，“为什么在布鲁明黛?”

　　"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

　　“那样的话我女儿肯定一周会探望我两次。”

　　Note: 布鲁明黛(Bloomingdale's)是一家连锁百货公司，与梅西百货同属联邦百货公司旗下。布鲁明黛在美国有超过36家分店。