英语短文笑话
偶尔爆出的一两句笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧，本文是小编为大家收集整理的英语短文笑话，欢迎参考借鉴。
《I Don't Like an Argument》 我不想争论
”Gerald,“asked the teacher,”what is the shape of the earth?“
”It's round,“answered Gerald.
”How do you know it's round?“continued the teacher.
”All right,it's square then,he replied,I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!
”杰拉尔德，“老师问：”地球是什么形状？“
”是圆形的，“杰拉尔德回答道。
”你怎么知道是圆的？“老师又问。
”好吧，那它是方的，“学生回答说：”我可不想与你争论这件事情。“
生难词：square adj.平方的，方形的
《Two Birds》 两只鸟
Teacher: ”Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?“
Student: ”I cannot point out but I know the answer.“
Teacher: ”Please tell us.“
Student: ”The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.“
老师：”这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？“
学生：”我指不出，但我知道答案。“
老师：”请说说看。“
学生：”燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。“
生难词：swallow n.燕子 sparrow n.麻雀
《Three Turtles》 三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one,"Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied,"I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't,"the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well, I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do, I won't go."
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
生难词：turtle n.乌龟 biggest adj.最大的
smallest adj.最小的 umbrella n.雨伞
《Who Is the Laziest》 谁最懒
Father: “Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?”
Tom: “I don't know, father.”
Father: “Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?”
Tom: “Our teacher, father.”
父亲：“哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？”
汤姆：“我不知道，爸爸。”
父亲：“啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的'孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？”
汤姆：“我们老师，爸爸。”
生难词：lazy adj.懒惰的
《Who is Stupid》 谁愚蠢
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,"Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said,"Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
一个老师在对学生们讲学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
生难词：stupid adj.愚蠢的，迟钝的
《His Fault》 他的错
Billy:“ Mother, Bobby broke a window.”
Mother: “How did he do it?”
Billy: “I threw a rock at him and he ducked.”
比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
妈妈：他怎么打的？
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。
生难词：duck v.躲避
《Tom's excuse》 汤姆的借口
Teacher: “Tom, why are you late for school every day?”
Tom: “Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.”
老师：“汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？”
汤姆：“我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行。”
《somebody》 大人物
My uncle has 1000 men under him.
He is really somebody. What does he do？
A maintenance man in a cemetery.
我叔叔下面有1000个人。
他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
墓地守墓人。
生难词：cemetery n.守墓人