英语笑话：那个仆人真聪明

　　The Clever Servant

　　Long time ago, there was a rich old man who loved wine and good food over everything else. And he had a servant who loved drinking and eating as much as his master did. Each time the rich old man went out, he helped himself to the bottles of wine and all the nice food. Of course, the rich man knew who did it and was displeased. But he could do nothing about it because he had never caught his servant drinking his wine and eating his food.

　　One day the old man was invited to dinner at the home of one of his friends. He did not know what to do with the wine, meat and chicken he had just bought. Certainly he could not leave them to the servant. In the end he had an idea. He called up the servant and said to him: "I'll be away for the whole evening, and I'll leave you to look after house. In the cupboard there are two bottles filled with poison. Be careful about it. You'll be killed if you take even a drop of it, there is also some meat and chicken in the cupboard. Take care of them." With these words the rich man left home.

　　As soon as the master turned his back, the servant opened the cupboard and began to enjoy all the nice things in it. He emptied two bottles and ate up the meat, the chicken and everything else found in the cupboard. He was satisfied and soon fell asleep.

　　At midnight the rich old man returned home. He looked into the cupboard and, to his great surprised, all his wine and food were gone. He was mad with anger and called the servant up.

　　"Oh, Master," the servant began before the old man could open his mouth. "While you were away, the neighbor's lack cat stole into our kitchen and ate up everything in the cupboard. I knew you would be very angry with me. I was so afraid that I drank the two bottles of poison to kill myself." There were even tears in the servant's eyes. "Oh, Master," he continued, "Please don't get angry with a dying man. I'll soon be dead."

　　The rich old man, of course, did not believe a word of his story. But again, he could do nothing about it.

　　聪明的仆人

　　很久以前，有个富人贪酒好食，胜过于其它一切。他有一个仆人，也和主人一样好吃好喝。每当富人外出时，他只好把酒和食物藏起来。可是每次这个仆人都能找到它们并擅自把好酒好菜全部偷吃偷喝了。富人当然知道是谁干的，所以，很不高兴。但是，因为他从来没有抓住过他仆人偷吃偷喝的把柄，所以他对此也不好怎么办。

　　一天，富人被邀到他朋友家赴宴。他不知道怎么处理刚刚买回来的酒、肉、鸡等。当然，他也不能把它们留给他的仆人，于是他想出了一个主意。他把仆人叫来对他说：

　　"我今天整晚不在家，留下你好好看家。在食橱里有两瓶装满了毒药的酒，小心点别碰它。你沾上一滴就会要你的命的。在食橱里还有一些肉和鸡，也要注意有毒。"说完这个富人就走了。

　　主人一转身出门，仆人就打开食橱开始享用里面的美味佳肴。他喝光了两瓶酒，吃光了肉、鸡、和所有能在食橱里找到的东西。吃饱喝足之后，他就开始睡着了。

　　半夜，富人回家来了。他朝食橱里一看，大为惊讶，他的酒、食物全没了。他气急了，就把仆人叫起来。

　　"喔，主人，"富人还没有来得及开口，仆人就开始说了，"你不在家时，邻居的黑猫溜进了我们的橱房，吃光了食橱里所有的`东西。我知道你会很生我的气。所以我非常害怕，就喝了两瓶毒药自杀。"仆人的眼睛里甚至还噙着眼泪。"喔，主人，" 他继续说道，"请不要对一个快要死的人发火了。我就要死了。"

　　富人当然不相信他的假话的一个字，但是，他对此还是毫无办法。